The Golden Globes: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Awards Shows

The Golden Globes

Most men reserve public excitement to sporting events such as the Super Bowl, The Final Four and the World Series…. the World Cup if you are a normal man outside of the U.S. of A. For whatever reason, awards shows seem to do it for me…. awards shows and World Cup, go figure. Specifically, awards shows for film. I could care less about the Grammys or the MTV VMAs…. gon’t give a hoot about any hall of fames… Tonys? Emmys? Perhaps when there was TV worth awarding I enjoyed the Emmys… now… meh.

Beginning a few weeks ago, nominations have been forthcoming and awards given for the various critics’ circles and organizations responsible for handing out such praise. I was going to post my own predictions, but the Spirit Awards were given usurping what I thought was some good insight on my part by suggesting Winter’s Bone as a front runner. Alas, I did not post my thoughts and have waited until now… the morning of The Golden Globes itself. Better than the Critics’ awards… more enjoyable than the SAG awards… The Golden Globes is the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s dress rehearsal for the Oscars. The drunken step brother to Oscar’s haughty statesman. And tonight, with Ricky Gervais at the helm… anything is possible.

The perfect host for The Golden Globes, Gervais brings that perfect amount of danger to his presentation. Will he say something inappropriate? Undoubtedly. Will he elevate the show from rote list reading? Surely. Will he bore us for three to four hours? I don’t imagine so. I can envision a drag around the time the TV awards start getting handed out (unless The Walking Dead wins… but I’m not holding my breath), but I’m thinking this will be a fun evening with the potential for some upsets and/or some good acceptance speeches.

So what are my predictions? I’m not going to list all the nominees here… you can read them here. So… who do I, Mr. Cornelius J. Blahg (imagine me in a monocle and smoking jacket right now… this is all very Masterpiece Theater) believe shall be taking home some Globular bits o’gold this evening?

Best Picture, drama: The Social Network

Best Picture, musical or comedy: The Kids Are All Right

Actor, drama: Colin Firth

Actress, drama: Natalie Portman

Director: David Fincher

Actor, musical or comedy: No bloody clue really… Paul Giamatti perhaps because he’s great and I haven’t even heard of the movie he’s nominated for. Johnny Depp is nominated twice, I don’t think that bodes well for him.

Actress, musical or comedy: Probably Annette Bening, I would prefer Emma Stone

Supporting Actor: This category is probably the biggest toss up…. Christian Bale, Andrew Garfield, Jeremy Renner, Geoffrey Rush or the ailing Michael Douglas? I imagine Bale will win, but only by a hair.

Supporting Actress: Another toss up… but I’ll call it for Helena Bonham Carter. Perhaps Mila Kunis. Depends on how many men versus women voted. More men will vote for Kunis.

Animated Film: Toy Story 3. The Oscar may go to The Illusionist, but the Golden Globes are less backlashy and more mainstream.

Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin

I’m not going to bother with TV because I know a lot less about what’s going on with the boob tube these days. I would give all awards to The Walking Dead or Lost. Unfortunately, those two are barely mentioned… The Walking Dead, once. Lost, not even a last season mention… shameful.

Well… those are my predictions… let’s see how well I’ve done. Enjoy the show and may the best films win.

The the winner is…
Cornelius J. Blahg

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