Unless you made it… I didn’t offend you…

It’s funny how we personalize movies and music we love or hate and sometimes react very strongly to either criticism or praise.  I bring this up because of two separate incidents recently…

The first incident happened back in January or February when I was talking about what a coworker was doing next weekend… blah blah blah… she mentioned that she and her partner were going to see Valentine’s Day.  I made a very off the cuff comment about having seen the trailer and how my teeth hurt immediately after due to the extreme sugary nature of the movie.  I certainly did not mean to imply anything about my friend… but I was promptly called an “opinionated butthead”.  Now, that may be true…. but my comment seemed to actually hurt her feelings because I was minimizing her choice of movie to see.

For the record, I don’t care what anyone sees or enjoys…. taste is way too subjective to be snotty about it.  I like movies that I know to be pure 100% fresh squeezed crap on toast…. Anaconda, anything by Roland Emmerich, Starship Troopers… I get it… these movies are horrible… but entertaining…. to me.  What I thought was funny about the above situation was that I ended up feeling horrible for hurting my friend’s feelings, yet felt somewhat hurt myself that my friend just called me an opinionated butthead for mocking a Love Actually rip off movie (which I happen to love).  We talked it out and I simply realized I needed to tamp down any criticisms of movies with her in the future… bummer too, because I’ve always seen film discussions to be one of those topics you can disagree on and not offend anyone.  Unless you made the movie… criticism is usually not directed towards you.

Does saying “what you like, I don’t like” mean “if you like this, I don’t like you”?  I certainly don’t think so, but there may be a bit of truth to that.  If movies, music and what we enjoy in general are aspects of our personality… or mirrors of personality perhaps… then maybe commenting on someone’s taste is commenting on them.  I truly hope not.

Today I had another one of these discussions… this one regarding Inception.  Now… time for a big SPOILER ALERT!!  SPOILER ALERT!!  Do not read any further if you have not seen Inception and do not wish to be spoiled on the end.OK… I’m in the clear now.  An older fellow I work with and have often enjoyed talking about movies with (he is an older Mormon man, so we can only discuss PG-13, PG and G rated films… limits what we discuss big time) came in and told me he had finally seen Inception.  We talked a bit about his thoughts on it… then we came to the end.  He insists the top fell.  I said, “No, the top wobbles, rights itself, then black”.  He simply insisted that I was wrong and the top fell.  So on and on we went…. I talked about how this is a phenomenon I’ve heard about, people insisting they saw the top fall when, if you were paying attention at all, it clearly did not and was left ambiguous for what I assume was good reason.  I brought up the dream like quality of Mombasa and specifically why I believe the end was still deep in dream (kids not aging, wearing same clothes, how he walked away from the top without waiting to see if it dropped and my favorite clue…. the music cue.  If you haven’t heard this… check it out here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVkQ0C4qDvM ).  I then should have realized my next statement might not be taken well when I pointed out that Urban Dictionary has created a new word for people unclear on Inception…. ineption.  I chuckled, he took it as me being so opinionated I was saying that I got it, he didn’t.  No.  I didn’t mean that.  And he looked a bit visibly pissed that I would say that… I did my best to pull it back a bit and simply talked about how much I’ve read about the movie after seeing it and how I need to see it many more times to get all the clues and cues we were given… blah blah…

I don’t mean to offend.  I know I’m opinionated, but I also believe everyone is, to a certain degree.  A person with no opinions would be a remarkable bore.  And if you don’t wish to share you opinions for either fear of arrogance makes you kind of dull as well.  Why are we afraid to express how we feel about anything.  Why are we always afraid to offend.  I’m not saying anything about a person when talking movies, books, music, food, etc.  I don’t like cucumbers.  That says nothing about most people who don’t… it’s simply my taste.So to those I’ve offended by expressing my opinions…. take what I say with a grain of salt…. I mean you no harm…. I just want to talk about the movie.

Now in Technicolor,
Cornelius J. Blahg

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *